Breathless
by Makitachi
Summary: "Sometimes, I wonder if I'm in water. Because reality makes me feel like I am drowning." A vignette collection dedicated to Raimon's teal haired defender, Kariya Masaki.
1. Existence

**A/N: **More serious subjects than I usually write, please keep that in mind as you read. These are vignettes centered around Kariya. They are purposely very vague at times.

* * *

**Breathless**

**I**

**_Existence_**

* * *

_'Sometimes,_

_I wonder if I'm in water._

_Because reality makes me feel like_

_I am drowning_

_1000 feet underwater_

_And nobody will come and save me.'_

* * *

When I was younger, I'd like to think I was all a part of an unrealistic dream.

I lived in a bright red house near the mountains, my parents adored and loved me for whatever existence I owned, miracles existed, and we lived happily on a pre painted canvas.

_What a fool I was._ It was my friend reality, the breaker of hopes and dreams.

In actuality, in my younger years, my parents would bicker, and argue about trivial nonsense. Once about running away, and another time about serving time in jail. What does that even have to do about our conversation?! We were only talking about moving out of the city!

They make me so sick, and tired of life. I couldn't tell right from wrong at the time. And thus, I told them to go away one day, to leave me alone. Just for one day, so I could have some breathing room.

It sounded like such a blessing.

Music to my ears that I would receive the solitude of silence for once.

For a day, I wouldn't have to see those who had seemed to hate me all so very much.

However, that day, they chose to disappear from me. They had died, and left me with their hate. I wasn't even sure they loved me anymore.

And that's when I remembered all about the darker parts of my past.

My dad would hit me, and my mother would run away to other men.

It had been almost twelve years since I've heard a "I love you Kariya, you are such a good kid!" But more recently, I've gotten, "Shut up you idiot child!" from those who were my parents.

The only people I loved, seemed to hate me oh so very much.

They left an eleven year old, that they previously had told to rot for being a terrible child.

Was I to blame for their unexpected deaths?

I am still unsure about it two years later, to where I am in the present.

It leaves a bitter taste in my mouth whenever I think about it.

But that takes me to where I now live, the orphanage Sun Garden.

It was an unusually happy place, despite it being an orphanage. I'm assuming the younger kids don't know why they are here. And perhaps their ignorance gives them comfort.

How I wish to be like them.

"Is that you Kariya? Why are you here?" A familiar voice resounded.

As I looked towards the source of the voice, the sun blinded me, or perhaps that was just an illusion. The tall male took off his glasses and put them into his pocket.

His glossy crimson red hair, shined like the sun, while his green eyes seemed like fields of green grass.

It seemed as if you could get lost just looking at him.

But if you didn't notice earlier, his appearance made him look straight out, gaudy.

An adult dressed like he was a child.

Somehow, it was soothing.

But he looked ridiculous.

"Ah, it is you! I've been looking for you Kariya! Me and Midorikawa had just finished work for today, and I was wondering if you wanted to play soccer with us?" I made a face, eyeing his polka dotted tie.

"Is that really okay?" I asked, giving him a perverse look, as I smirked down my frowning.

The notion pained me for than it should have.

Hiroto reached out, and put his hands on my shoulders. His arms shook, as he looked downwards. I gazed at his red hair, until I realized my view, was replaced with his jade colored eyes.

Unlike his cheerful expression from before, it was a look of anger and fear.

And I couldn't understand why.

"What do you mean is it okay?! It's always okay! We are family now Kariya!" He yelled loudly.

I couldn't answer.

Why would he do this?

Or why would he even care?

We had only met a few months ago.

"Huh?" Was the only sound I could make at the time, as he embraced me into a tight hug.

I looked down at his white shirt, as water dripped onto it.

I put my hand below my right eye, and felt something strange.

That's when I realized, it wasn't water.

These were my own tears.

And that's when I lost it.

The tears ran rapidly down my face, as I buried my face in his shoulder, trying to shield what whimpers I made.

A man I had met months ago, had dispelled my fears with such few words.

Despite his somewhat gaudy attire, Hiroto was someone I could trust.

And for the first time, I realized, perhaps…

I had a family.

I might not have had parents that loved me and cared for me. Plus they weren't the most ideal people to love, but I'm grateful. Their short lived love, made me who I turned out to be. Even if they weren't true family, they were still my parents by blood.

But, my true family resides in Sun Garden, where tons of ignorant kids, and gaudy adults live. But, I thought it was just fine.

Perhaps everybody's unique natures, were what attracted me to such a place.

A place that I can call home.

_Thank you for existing._


	2. The Present

**Breathless**

**II**

**The Present**

* * *

_"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift of God, which is why we call it the present."_

_- Bil Keane_

* * *

Last spring break, Ryuuji had told me to take some dance lessons so I wouldn't embarrass myself in front of others once I go to my first school dance. And when I told him I didn't want to, he signed me up against my will. Talk about being the mother of Sun Garden.

So there was I, studying ballet and tap.

I didn't really like it, but I didn't hate it either. It wasn't all too bad now that I thought about it.

The only reason I might've liked it, would probably be the obnoxious teacher.

The teacher, whose name seems to escape me, has always told me that I was too focused on the past steps and reorganizing myself.

But, I asked myself, was that the truth?

I thought, not really.

But at the same time, I thought, was I really like that?

"Hello? Are you the new student?" I was struck out of my reverie, as I peered into beautiful metallic blue orbs. "Huh?" I backtracked a few steps, due to the other male's face being way too close for comfort. Now that I think about it, were his eyes really that pretty? I shook off the thought, as I looked at the individual more conspicuously.

There were two people actually, both brown haired. One taller and more goofy looking, while the other one was pitifully short. The short boy looked like a Pokemon.

I stifle a giggle, to curve my lips into a small smile.

I felt dirty, disgusting, and foul, like I've always have.

_"Masaki. Those who live prosperous lives, live the lives of liars. They lie behind your back, and hurt you when you believe you can trust them."_

Those were words I've remembered **by heart.**

Because that was how I lived for a good portion of my life.

"Ahah, I forgot to introduce myself!" The taller brown haired male, awkwardly scratched his neck, while the shorter one wore a headband.

"My name is Matsukaze Tenma, and this is Nishizono Shinsuke! We are first years at Raimon Junior High! Nice to meet you!" They both bowed respectfully, then returned with huge smiles on their faces.

I felt somewhat frustrated.

I bit my lip, as I remembered the words of the two males who assumed the position as my guardians.

_"Masaki, not everybody lies."_

I pointed to my wrist, where my imaginary watch was. Dealing with people like them was a pain.

The two males looked surprised, and ran towards the school building waving. "See you later!"

I gave them a pathetic, effortless wave with my hand, and readjusted my grip on my schoolbag.

There were really people who acted as they appeared?

I shake my head, and bring my left hand over my eyes.

I blink once.

Then twice.

It's probably an illusion.

All an illusion of the eyes.

* * *

Step, step, slide.

Steal successful.

Step, step, jump.

One person down.

Step, step, fall…

Ball stolen and passed?

Heh, no problem.

Dash, dash, hissatsu.

"Hunter's Net!" I yell roughly, as I bring out my hands outward, to trap the ball within the somewhat transparent pink tight rope material. I pull on the material, to tighten the ability for the ball to move too far.

The male previously introduced as Tenma falls as I use my hissatsu, and I put my hand over my mouth. "Hahaha, pathetic." I snivel quietly, before curving my lips, into an expression of worry. "Are you okay Tenma?"

"Yeah! You are awesome Kariya!"

"Yeah yeah Kariya!" The two seemed to have stars in their eyes as they stared at me.

"Huh?" I look at them, genuinely confused. The more I look at the two of them, the more cheerful they seem. Huh… I guess this is alright.

Maybe I could get used to something like this.

"Haha, you guys need to catch up to my level." I accidently chortle. It was meant to be more of a snicker, but whatever.

The two of them looked surprised and their grins reappeared to their face. "Kariya!"

And the next thing I knew was, I was on the grass, trapped in their hugs. I frown.

"Would you two get off of me? You are squishing me."

"Ahah, sorry Kariya! We just got so excited when we saw you smile for the first time!" I stared at the two curiously.

"What do you mean?" I asked, with a tinge of excitement in my voice. Before breathing outward to get rid of that hope. They wouldn't know, would they?

"You never smile with your entire being. It's simply your lips moving!"

I guess, I'm pretty far off with my first guesses.

They are a whole lot smarter than they look.

"What are you guys talking about? Don't be such idiots. Come on, let's go home. Practice just ended." I lightly hit their heads, with a slight chuckle rumbling within my throat.

"Alright!" The two pad right beside me, and as I look up, I think, perhaps it's time to move on, and live in the present.

_With a little bit of help, I think it's possible._


End file.
